che·mo·ther·a·py
ˌkēmōˈTHerəpē,ˌkemōˈTHerəpē/
noun
- the treatment of disease by the use of chemical substances, especially the treatment of cancer by cytotoxic and other drugs.
- That is what google had to say about chemo. Would you like my definition? Well... It sucks. It really does not need any more than that. I went into my first treatment terrified. I had talked to many people. I had read many articles. I had asked so many questions. Truly, I was very prepared by my whole medical team. They were great. It is just a scary thing. I'm the girl that never even took Tylenol and here I was all 'ported up' and ready to be injected with deadly chemicals for the next four hours. Weird!
- I told my Husband to finally work a full day so he (grudgingly) left for work and I had a friend pick me up and take me to the chemo room. Seriously, how does a girl get lucky enough to have Jennie drive all the way out to my new house that is 15 minutes away from her own home, the opposite direction of the hospital, only to drive 30 minutes back to the hospital. My sister in law, Cara Van Acker came to treatment with me too. She met us there. I LOVE her so much! I am a very lucky girl for the circle of people around me. I guess I did find some light that day!
My First treatment was actually a bit over a week ago on Thursday, August 11th. That was just 27 hours after my port placement. Turns out they needed 24 hours for that to heal. Good thing that worked out. It took me a while to write this post because the side affects just kept coming. I feel like a person now. FINALLY!!! It is pretty great, too :) Anyway, they let the girls came back for the whole thing, including the exam. I felt kind of bad while they had to listen to the doctor talk about scary things like the actual size of my tumor and then measure it. That makes the whole thing quantifiable and very real. The tumor is big. Maybe sometime later on, I'll talk about specifics. Good news? Apparently, each treatment I go to should show immediate shrinkage of the tumor and lymph nodes! I suppose they need to dangle something sweet in front of a person to get them to come back for six chemo treatments.
Now we are in the chemo room. It is a pleasant room with the best nursing staff ever. They are very real and matter of fact about what is going to happen. They have just the right amount of bed side manner and all the warmed blankets a girl could ask for! They explain each medication, one at a time and go over what will happen to my body within seconds as well as days because of each of the meds. Here we go... They were happy with the port placement and while I am certain that I would have blown every vein in my arms if they tried to use an IV, putting that much pressure on a fresh surgical wound was the worst pain I have ever gone through. I have had two kids, mind you. I saw colors that I didn't know existed. My nurse went into what I call nurse mode and got things set as fast as she could. Now that that agony was over... time for infusion. This was really not a big deal and I sat and chit chatted through most of it.
Let me tell you about the Benedryl. I mentioned earlier that I am not a medicine taker so I feel all of the feels right away. They put an IV of the stuff into my port and directly into my heart. Lol!! I have never taken drugs before and I think that is a good thing. I was floating, warm, fuzzy... the whole nine yards. Don't mind the reason for the Benedryl. It just felt good. Hahaha, always find the light, right? :)
After chemo was over, Aaron (my husband) was supposed to pick me up but I got done about 30 minutes earlier than planned so Cara was able to make it to a meeting at work and Jennie drove me home. Right at that same time, my parents pulled up with our kids from Florida. We needed them SO. BAD. Both the kids and my parents. If I had not been clear, we had just moved into a new home about two weeks before. The kids knew what was going on through phone conversations but we needed to hug them, kiss them and love them in person. They were excited to be home and run around the new neighborhood with their new neighbors. The noise (and my son, Brady is good at noise) was music to my ears.
My first hurdle was that night. Mom and I didn't feel like making dinner and I knew that I would probably not feel well soon so we decided to go out to eat. Blue Iguana is a local Mexican restaurant close to our new home. I LOVE it. I had already been there four times in two weeks. We were going to go again! Dad, Aaron and the kids went to the truck to put seats up and get ready to go. I broke down. I fell into my Mom crying that I was scared and couldn't leave the house. I was terrified. I didn't want to feel sick. I didn't want to hurt. I didn't want to do any of it. She said just the right things, did just the right things and she calmed me down. She got the guys and kids back into the house and we ordered pizza. Perfection.
It is amazing. It does not matter how old you get, parents are always the best. They went so far as to have their mail forwarded from Florida to our house so that they can stay here as long as we need their help. Sigh... I love them. They are the best.
The next few days were much of the same. I was tired. So tired. That is what 'they' say will happen and I tell you what, 'they' are right. The one thing that happened that I was not prepared for was the shot I had to get the day after chemo. I can't spell the name of it so I'm not going to try. It is a shot that boosts the production of white blood cells so my low point on day 10 is not as low as it would possibly be. Makes sense. Sounds smart. It is smart. Let me tell you, wow. I have never been so conscious of each and every joint and long bone in my body. When that bone marrow works in over drive, you can feel it. I know it is for the greater good but I did learn very quickly that it is not a sign of weakness to take the prescription pain pills. They made me feel better and they made me sleep.
I tried three times throughout the week before returning to work was successful. I now know I need that full week to let my body process the barrage of cell killing, mood shifting, body altering medicines that come with chemo. At the end of the day my work days are six hours instead of nine and that is ok. I am going to try two days in a row tomorrow and Monday and see how I do. One day at a time. One step at a time. One hour at a time. I had a great day yesterday and I took advantage of it. I worked, I stopped at a great friends surprise 40th birthday party in time to surprise him and I even met my parents and son for a dinner out. Was i exhausted? Yes. Was I a bit sore? Uh-huh. Was I happy? Absolutely! Cancer will not define my whole life. It will take over three quarters of it but I will make sure to live the other quarter to the fullest.
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